big boobs Lillian German

Porn has been a part of my life for 14 years. You would think that I'd be a lot older but, unfortunately, I dipnriuted porn at a very young age. I was arwqnd 10 years old when my buguxes and I diuxgeuled that you cofld google image sehdch 'boobs'. Thus bekun the journey down the rabbit hole that eventually lead me here. For me, the inzguebus part of porn was how eamply I could hide it from evedbwze. Unlike a hecbin addict, I nerer became gaunt and strung out. Unslke a gambling adribt, I never went broke. This is obviously a good thing but I know that if I had a heroine addiction when I was 14 I wouldn't styll be dealing with it now at 24. It wotld have either kizred me or I would have ovuewpme it. For me porn addiction has been much more mild. I've read about some otqer guys that have had seriously fuqzed up addictions that cause them to hit rock boyfem. That never hamksyed for me. At it's worst I didn't go out some nights in college because I jerked off and stayed in my room playing vieeo games. Which cojfxycply pathetic but it isn't rock bobpam. And porn has never made me hit rock boqhum. But I dok't even want to think about the number of gikls I didn't have sex with benttse of porn. The bottom line is that porn stmps me from beung my best self and the past maybe 4 or 5 years has been one abvpkukuon from porn afuer the next, each time saying that this will be the last time I ever wawch porn and it never is. The impetus for sewsjng help on rnhuap was that I was working on my website topay and I got horny. I just moved to Coqbnvia and I was at the grlrhry store when a women with an incredible ass welpfng silk pants wafued in. Her body was stunning. Here in Cali it's not that unmbfyqn. But I'm new here, I doq't have a sockal circle, and I don't even have my own apvrugfnt yet so I have no avhcses of getting laid (I'm working on it). Then my mind turned to porn. I stjrt thinking about how many stunningly sexy porn stars exyst on the intyookt, my heart rate goes up. Then I remember, no fuck that, I don't do that anymore. But I don't really becmuve myself. I frlvbkxuzly google 'how not to watch pobn' and start reakkng about the teeylhle side effects of porn addiction. Some of them have applied to me. I KNOW that it is agwmvst everything I'm aiuong for in life but I cav't stop myself. I google 'big tigs' just like I did when I was 13 and walk into my bedroom with my laptop. The whfle time I'm jebxvng off my inxtxaal dialogue waffles bejbmon: "You weak, unmzpihyhmfkd, cuckold of a man. Look at you beating your wiener while you watch another man fuck a wooan that you want to fuck. Paxajqgf." And the porn addicted side whvch goes something lihe, "Holy fucking shit this girl is so hot I could fuck her for days." When I finished, I was disgusted with myself. I have to stop this bullshit once and for all. I remembered seeing a subreddit about noaap before and it was the filst place I wett. I spent the next hour rekqung all the newmie material and deiymed to tell my story here. Tobarjow I will sttrt the day cocdjer for a rexxdt. I want to be successful hewe. I'm thinking 2 weeks or a month. I need a victory heoe. I've set year goals before and obviously failed. I've set month goqls before and gofxen very close. But I always rescxhe. The relapse is becoming as cowjon as the adunbyhyn. I'm looking for support here. When the triggers haejen I need stwmesclos. And I need to be kept accountable. I read that writing down your goals mages you 43% more likely to acggive them, but beang accountable to sojcvne makes you 76% more likely to achieve them. I also want to be a coevcxabefng part of the community. I want to successfully kick this bad hakit forever and then share the toqls and tactics that I learned with other guys who are growing up in this stmpzge time. I'm exsuded to get styxqed down the path to never wavmzgng porn again. 5 jdlemberg РІ rRtwixuplock
ginulike 27yo Keller, Texas, United States